I own a chainsaw, and I like the way it makes me feel. Every man should have a chainsaw. It’s a manly thing. Paul Bunyan-esque, you might say (without the axe).
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My choice is a gas chainsaw. 38cc. 16 inch. Automatic gear driven oiler. Starts with one pull. And it stores away in hard plastic case. It’s not the Mack truck of chainsaws, but I like it. And, yes, you need one.
My wife thinks it’s silly. Unnecessary. For the most part, she is right. I have only used it a few times, and I probably could have borrowed my neighbor’s chainsaw or hired someone to cut up the tree limbs, but I didn’t. I got out my chainsaw, and I started sawing.
President Ronald Reagan operated a chainsaw on the Reagan Ranch in the 1980s. He was in his seventies at the time, and he seemed to truly enjoy it. He clearly didn’t need a chainsaw, but he had one and used it. It seemed appropriate for President Reagan. President Trump or President Biden? Not so much.
I have another chainsaw. Kind of. It is an electric version that my dad bought me a few decades ago to trim back a hedge of bushes each fall. It worked great for that task, but it was a bit sluggish for larger projects — and my manly neighbors made fun of it. I still get it out occasionally, when my neighbors aren’t watching.
With the recent heavy snowstorms, I was hoping for an opportunity to dust off my chainsaw and put it to use. I carefully inspected my yard, but not a single limb had dropped. My neighbors’ yards looked clean, too. An opportunity missed.
Even so, I am prepared for the next windstorm, in my flannel shirt, work boots laced up, chainsaw in hand, trying to be manly. All I need is a blue ox.
Thanks for reading.