Christmas Day may be over, but the Christmas season continues — and so do the holiday songs, at least for me.
Although I can’t play an instrument, and I flunked choir in eighth grade, I truly appreciate music. I still spin vinyl on my record player, play my cassettes and pop in a few CDs. And if I still had an 8-track player, I would not hesitate to use that either. But even with all these great ways to listen to music from generations past, I must admit that I truly enjoy streaming music on my modern devices. The problem is that Alexa and I don’t always agree. She has her definition of classic Christmas music, and I have mine. When I ask Amazon’s cloud-based voice service to “play Christmas classics,” I expect to hear Bing Crosby, Gene Autry, Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra. Alexa gives me Wham, Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson.
Any Christmas music with a synthesizer is not classic. Period.
I am not sure why I am attracted to this golden era of Christmas music. It just feels, well, Christmassy. I certainly didn’t grow up in that timeframe, and my parents didn’t play Christmas music around the house. Meanwhile, Alexa is sending her misguided selection to more than 100 million devices from Amazon and third-party device manufacturers. She should be imprisoned, or at least fined.
As a society, we seem to be obsessed with lists today, and not the naughty or nice ones that the guy in the big red suit puts together. I am referencing the best and worst lists that are commonplace today and packed with personal opinions.
Opinions are like belly buttons, as we all have them. As such, in 2021, Rolling Stone magazine compiled the 20 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time. It includes New Kids on the Block with “Funky, Funky, Xmas,” Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe,” and ‘NSync singing “I Never Knew the Meaning of Christmas.” Topping their Worst list is Jessica Simpson, featuring Ashlee Simpson, with “The Little Drummer Boy.” Rolling Stone nailed it. I purposely did not include the links. You don’t want to hear them.
It is not that I dislike contemporary musicians. Some artists of today can make it work. Michael Bublé is amazing. And then there is… did I mention Michael Bublé? I am joking. Harry Connick, Jr. is special, too. But the list pretty much stops there.
OK, I am showing my bias. Give me Elvis and “Blue Christmas.” Play “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” by Perry Como. Drop the needle on the record of “The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole. They all make me smile and sing along.
“Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande? Alexa, “STOP!”
Enjoy the sounds of the season, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
Editor and Publisher
Times Vedette digital editions
shane@gctimesnews.com
641-332-2707